Ticking Off Breast Cancer

Ticking Off Breast Cancer

Before cancer, I was certainly not a writer. I’ve never had any inclination to write. No novel burning deep inside me nor any aspirations to write anything. But, somehow or other, writing has become a big part of my life since my breast cancer diagnosis. In fact, over the course of the past couple of years, I have set up a website, www.tickingoffbreastcancer.com, which consists of practical tips and advice for someone going through breast cancer treatment; I regularly write blog posts and articles for other cancer organisations and charities; and I have written a book about my breast cancer experience (also called Ticking Off Breast Cancer) which is due out September 2019.

So, I suppose the question is, how did I go from being someone who didn’t write and had no interest in writing, to being someone who just can’t stop writing.

Well, there is a bit of story there. Towards the end of chemotherapy, a friend told me that another friend of hers had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She asked whether I would have a chat with her – we were of a similar age, had children the same age, lived in the same town and as it is fairly uncommon to get breast cancer in your early forties, she didn’t have anyone to talk to who had been through it. I said of course. So, we arranged a time for her to pop over to my house for a cup of tea and a chat. In advance of her coming over, I thought that it would be helpful to retrace the previous few months and work out what I could tell her about. Her breast cancer was the same type as mine and she would be having similar treatment. I asked myself, what would I have wanted someone to tell me had I spoken to someone after I was diagnosed but before my treatment started.

I would have wanted someone to give me:

  • Practical advice to help get me through the treatment,
  • A little heads up on what to expect through the treatment,
  • And I would have wanted someone to hold my hand and tell me that although it was going to be a tough road ahead, I would be able to do it and I would get to the other side.

So, I started to make a few notes about the things that I could talk to her about. And once I started, I couldn’t stop. There was so much to say. I realised that over the previous seven months, I had picked up many practical tips about getting through breast cancer treatment. And to cut a long story short, I decided to use these notes (together with the results of some extensive online research where I’d found some amazing resources for people going through breast cancer) to set up www.tickingoffbreastcancer.com. 

I found it very therapeutic writing out these practical tips. And so, I also started to write out an account of my life from the day I was diagnosed and throughout treatment. I’d been journaling anyway, so I took my whole experience – what had happened at each step of the way, how I felt about it all and all the chaotic, confused, anxious thoughts and reflections that were crowding my brain, and popped them into a written narrative.

It was a form of therapy in a way. All the stress, anxiety and difficulties I had faced since October 2016 were leaving my head and going onto my laptop. I was able to put my thoughts and feelings into some sort of order by writing them down. And there were a lot of thoughts and feelings – I was scared, anxious, sad, up and down a lot, overwhelmed constantly by the whole experience. Writing was a way of taking back a little bit of control. It was as if, by writing about everything, I was gradually lifting a weight off my shoulders and off my chest. There is a saying that by talking about something you can get it off your chest. Well, for anyone who suffers with anxiety you will know how it feels to physically have the weight of anxiety pushing on your chest. Writing has most certainly got a lot of anxiety off my chest. And, this personal breast cancer account is going to be published in September this year, in the form of a book by the same name: Ticking Off Breast Cancer.

I know that reading accounts of other people’s cancer experiences is incredibly supportive. You realise that you are not alone:

Someone else has felt the way you do

Someone else has had the side effects that you have had

Someone else has worried about the same things as you.

Someone else has struggled with the same issues as you.

Someone else has had the same fears as you.

And when you know that someone else has felt, thought and worried in the same way as you, you feel less alone. You feel comforted by that fact and you can take strength from those personal accounts to keep going through the tough times. I really hope that my book will provide this support to someone who is going through breast cancer themselves, and their family and friends.

And this is also why I have opened up www.tickingoffbreastcancer.com to guest blogs from other people going through breast cancer. People who may not have written anything before, but have written something and would like to share it. And people who have their own breast cancer blog but would like to share their writing with a different audience. Everyone is welcome to contribute. Just get in touch, I’d love to hear from you.

Sara is the founder of www.tickingoffbreastcancer.com, a website dedicated to helping people through their breast cancer treatment from diagnosis to living life to the full once treatment ends. Aged 42 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, Sara decided to set up the website to support those who do not know which way to turn for help after receiving a breast cancer diagnosis; those who are overwhelmed by the breast cancer resources online; those who may be scared to go online for fear of what they might find; and those just looking for a comfortable, safe, calm place to turn for help. The website provides practical advice for each step of the way, together with many links and signposts to other online resources. Follow her on FaceBook, Twitter and Instagram. Sara’s book of the same name, Ticking Off Breast Cancer, is due out September 2019.

Behind Closed Doors At Your Space Sorted

Behind Closed Doors At Your Space Sorted

Who are we?
Our names are Dympna and Helen and we are professional organisers and declutterers (I know sharp intake of breath!). We set up Your Space Sorted and working together, we help people who are overwhelmed, clear their spaces. It could be their business space, in their homes or just the under-stair cupboard. We help people get organised, we love doing it and here’s why…

Why did we start? 


Door one: Introducing Helen
I was living in Edinburgh with my husband and my daughter age 5 and my son aged two. We had moved four times since my daughter was born, taking with us the same boxes from house to house! The reason I knew this was that each time we sealed a box, we wrote the date on the box. The oldest unopened boxes dated back to November 2009!
My son had finally been given a place at a lovely nursery a few mornings a week and a good friend who lived up the road gave us a lift to drop my son off while her own son was at nursery.  We would often sneak off for a cuppa but inevitably had chores to do at home as well. Before dashing through our separate doors, we would check each other’s plans for those precious few hours. My friends reply was usually a bit of house work and putting her feet up to watch a film, my reply would often be I’m going to sort through a few things and tidy up. One day after our usual check in with each other and clearly my too often reply, my friend retorted “I really don’t know what you have to sort all the time!” more or less chuckling to herself!
That was the trigger – that was it-why was I spending so much time on “stuff “! I started reading books about decluttering dipping my toe into minimalism and began to purge our belongings-I wasn’t going to waste a moment more of my “me ” time tidying away and sorting through things and I felt passionately anything we didn’t need some else would use and appreciate. I had no desire for the cream coloured perfect show room – I just wanted a simpler life where my belongings didn’t own me! The more things we let go of as a family the happier I felt – I could feel the strong connection between freeing my physical space and my mental space almost immediately.
I met Dympna shortly after one of our many moves and even after, we moved away again, we kept in contact and spoke often. Time and time again our conversation would turn to best way of organising things. How could we manage our homes better? It was so clear Dympna was on the same road as me ………

Behind door two: Dympna
First, I wanted to say I’m no neat freak, I’m not OCD about cleanliness or even that naturally tidy, but I have always been organised. In my city job I set up offices, systems, managed people and things.
However, I had a wakeup call when I found it hard to leave my house with a tiny baby in tow, feeling blocked in. I couldn’t go out without tripping over or things falling on me. I became frustrated with no energy, incapable of thinking straight, couldn’t remember the word for ….. and unable to do basic tasks. Still recovering and being exhausted from no sleep and all the new challenges of being a mum, I was shocked at how difficult things had become.
In the beginning, I couldn’t understand why it was so hard, I never had problems with sorting things out and achieving in my job. Then I realised I had never spent so much time in my home as I was always out early and back late.  If I needed something quick and on the run, I would just get it. I had never devoted any time to setting up our home to work well for us. It was just a place to store our things not a place to live in. I found being more confined to home and with so many new items inevitably coming in, I began to feel overwhelmed. It was hard to do all the activities I needed to do on a daily basis because either there was no system or routine or too much stuff to manage. For example, the old me would: if I hadn’t made lunch that day, just buy it, on the way out, or if someone was coming over I would shove things in cupboards and pray the door would stay shut or if I hadn’t got around to laundry, get a new top on way home from work, not a sustainable or viable option for me now. My home had been neglected I had never reviewed the things in it, as I would have done at work – I started to ask myself questions. Is this working for us? do we use it? what is it? do I even like it?  I met Helen shortly after having my second daughter and we instantly got on. Even miles apart we would still talk about organising! On a visit back from Edinburgh, Helen told me all about her attempts at reducing down their possessions and I was hooked too. I made a throw away comment about what I would really love to do, would be to help people organise their houses now as we had our own. The seed was sown.


What we now offer?


We simply offer sessions to help you do what we did! We have fun while we do it and help review and reduce your belongings to make your space, your home, completely yours how you want it and it work more simply for you. We help you make room for life.
We hope to join you in the new year for a fun packed work shop, and if you want to get in touch before then please give us a call or drop us a message.

More info and tips can be found on our Facebook page.

You can contact Helen and Dympna at

dympna@yourspacesorted.co.uk

or

helen@yourspacesorted.co.uk

Laughter Is Definitely The Best Medicine

Laughter Is Definitely The Best Medicine

by Rebecca Deller

So why do I run laughter sessions? I’d love to have a big story behind this but I really don’t.

The fact is I just love having new experiences and meeting new people, I guess in a way it gives me a self esteem boost. Well apart from the disastrous time I learnt to ski but I won’t go into that now, that’s for another time and another blog. So back to laughter. I happened to stumble upon ‘Laughter yoga’ about seven years ago, I immediately felt curious and knew I had to give it a go. I don’t tend to mention the yoga bit as it might put some people off, I’ll come back to this point later.

Right, so here I am heading to my first laughter session, feeling quite nervous and a bit silly. Why am I paying to laugh with a bunch of people I don’t know? I walk in, do the session, have the best laugh ever and walk out again without really talking to anyone – how ridiculous is that? The best way to describe the benefits is that you feel you have made best friends, no communication is required, you just laugh and breathe with each other (the yoga bit) and you feel this wonderful sense of connection that stays with you for hours perhaps days. It’s one of the best feelings in the world. It allows you to be creative and productive, the endorphins rushing around your body make you feel great as though you’ve participated in a high impact physical sport. The health benefits are important to mention too, you sleep better, you reduce stress and anxiety which allows you to deal with life’s challenges more effectively and did I mention it even boosts the immune system!


Photo courtesy of Caroline Hernandez, Unsplash.com

So how does it work I hear you asking? Is someone telling jokes to make the group laugh? I am pleased to say it’s not that at all, as I’m sure not everyone would get my warped sense of humour. Let’s say ‘you fake it till you make it’ – that’s all I’m going to say for now.

I’m really hoping to see you early next year as Sam has suggested running a laughter session for the group. I can’t wait to laugh with all you lovely people, it will be so much fun. And remember if the lead up to Christmas gets stressful remember laughter is a wonderful tool that we have access to anytime, anywhere. It’s absolutely free and diffuses lots of situations, after all ‘Seriousness is bad for your health’

Rebecca is a Life Coach, Laughter Facilitator and Consultant with a passion for anything wellbeing related.

Her website is www.l1febalance.com

Email: thelaughterfacilitator@gmail.com

Twitter – @l1febalance
Blog – rebeccalifecoach.wordpress.com

Turban Times

Turban Times

Facing chemotherapy hair loss? Read on…

At Suburban Turban we‘ve been designing hats for women coping with chemo hair loss for over 11 years. Our studio started small back in 2006, (my spare room!) I’d been an ‘Ascot’ milliner for 10 years and had never considered designing hats for women at time when they had a real need for elegance and soft headwear. I responded to a friend’s request, a surgeon at Royal Surrey Hospital, to organise a GRACE (http://www.grace-charity.org.uk/) fashion show fundraiser and the rest as they say is history.

We’re now a team of 5 milliners, designing and producing 2 collections a year. The studio moved to just outside Guildford, in Surrey. Here we can create hats right from processing and pre-shrinking fabrics, all the way through to trimming and finishing. As a small artisan company I love the fact that we’re able to bring uniqueness to our designs, selecting beautiful fabrics and hand-finishing trim details. Suburban Turban has become known over the years for our dressy daywear and eveningwear styles, many of which incorporate draping fabric to create shape and volume. We also love developing head wear solutions for specific needs – the non-slip exercise hat (https://www.suburbanturban.com/rachel-sports-chemo-hat.html ) and the realistic hair fringe wig (https://www.suburbanturban.com/hair-fringe-wig-for-hair-loss.html) were created from clients’ requests. If you’re facing chemo hair loss, or know of someone who is about to start chemo treatment, here are a few milliner’s tips to help make the transition with minimal stress.

We regularly hear ‘I don’t like hats. I have no idea how to wear a hat, or what suits me?’ Many of us only wear a hat for practical reasons – warmth in the winter, or shade in the summer. Not enough of us regularly wear a ‘Trilby’ because it’s part of our ‘style look, or a cocktail hat because we want to make an entrance when we walk into a room! Hats for hair loss will need to be worn for much longer periods of time – both indoors and outdoors.

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Tip no. 1 – Lightweight fabrics in soft hat styles help make that indoor/outdoor transition easy and avoid overheating. Think trying to wear your bobble hat or ski hat indoors whilst meeting the girls for a coffee – it would look suitably casual, but it would be rather warm to wear indoors. Feel the hat and remember fabrics that feel soft and lightweight in your hand will feel the same on your head. Try to avoid scratchier wool mixes, synthetic fleece materials and linings, felted wool on a sensitive scalp needs a liner, (more of this later).
What’s your style tribe? Are you a casual dresser – a busy stay at home mum with children; an office worker requiring a smarter approach; or somewhere in-between the 2?

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Tip no. 2 – Look at hat styles that will easily fit with what you currently have in your wardrobe – caps for casual days – school pick-up, dog walks and supermarket trips. Beanies and turbans for casual to smart or indeed smart office days. Think about colour too – this will make the everyday ‘getting ready to go’ quicker and less stressy. You’ll feel much more confident and in your ‘comfort zone’, if the style and colour feel right.
If I buy one black chemo hat that will work with everything – right? It is understandable to think that black goes with everything, but treatment can change your skin tone. You can look paler and more tired – black only tends to accentuate these characteristics.

Tip no. 3 – Think about deep jewel colours for your hats – they add colour to your skin tone and even on a ‘tired’ day help you to look well. You are going to need more than 1 hat over what could be a 6 month period of hair loss. They won’t get particularly dirty – they may collect a little make-up / perspiration but they will need a freshen up and a re-shape. If at all possible buy 2-3 and ring the changes – your hats will last longer with a rest.
So all hats are the same I just need to pick one up and I’m good to go. Another key difference with hats for hair loss wear is that they need to be cut and made deeper at the back of the head. Sounds obvious I know (!) I know but not all hats cover the back of your head. Winter knit hats will but you may not wish to wear wool knit (or synthetic knit) next to a bare scalp and they’ll be too warm.

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Tip no.4 – Look at fuller styles like Baker Boy cap, bucket hats, beanies in lighter fabrics, berets – any style that is made fuller so that when you pull it down on to your head it doesn’t ruin the overall shape of the hat and you get enough coverage. Cloches are another good style that sit deep on the head.

Many women (not all) tell us that at the point of total hair loss (sometime around chemo treatment no. 2) the hair follicle is super sensitive and a wig/ headwear can be a real struggle. This seems to last for a week or so and then settle down. We would strongly recommend you plan ahead and have a soft beanie ready for this time. This way you have something to put on and you can wait till this phase passes. You can of course plan ahead – cut your hair shorter, purchase your wig whilst your own hair colour is there for reference, purchase hats for those times you don’t wish to wear a wig. This is all very much down to personal preference and how you wish to manage your hair loss.

We’re here on the end of the phone if you need style help and advice, or indeed if you’re local enough to come and try them on at the studio. Hair loss is one of the hardest knocks of cancer treatment, but there are now plenty of solutions available – realistic textured wigs and stylish headwear. You can take control of your hair loss, reclaim your confidence and feel gorgeous again.

Contact:

https://www.suburbanturban.com

nicky@suburbanturban.com

Tel: 01306 640 123

Turban Towers, Masters Yard, Guildford Road, Westcott, Surrey RH4 3NG

© Nicky Zip – October 2017

Hello Love!

Hello Love!

Breast cancer changed my life in the most positive way!

I was diagnosed aged 35 with no family history of cancer of any kind. It was an instant steep learning curve but one I embraced from the start. I had always been very sporty, ate well and lived very healthy or so I thought at the time. I had always been into health and healing through non conventional ways so it was a hard decision deciding to do Chemo, getting my eggs frozen and doing Radiotherapy. I decision I would no longer personally have taken.

The doctors told me I had no time to decide and I must start treatment instantly. I now regret putting my body through the overdose of toxic chemicals as I believe like a growing number of other people that I could have healed through non conventional western ways. But in going through chemotherapy etc I can now relate to others that go through the same and help educate them in my mission that is dedicated to NonToxic Practice(TM) and prevention of Cancer.

Five years on I run Hello Love. The Home, Studio and Dojo at 62-64 Southampton Row in Holborn London. I set up with Kevin, my Cancer Wingman and partner in crime. It is also the spiritual home of my breast cancer charity the Hello Beautiful Foundation.

Prevention is key! Prevention of a re-occurrence is also so important. At Hello Love the basis of this practice takes place on 3 levels:

Mind
Mindfulness and positive emotional awareness as a means to living freely without stress and anxiety.

Body
Organic plant-based diets that are free from animal proteins, processed sugars and genetic modifications. This extends into natural cosmetics
and finding products that have not been laced with parabens, pesticides and other chemical compounds.

Soul
Qi Gong, Sound Massage, Meditation and other holistic forms to realign the spiritual center and unify our purpose.

Over the last 5 years I followed this practice and dramatically changed my lifestyle. Its not a quick win it takes time, dedication and commitment but the rewards are immense. The way my body feels and the energy I now have is greater than I have ever experienced.

 

I started by throwing away all of my cosmetics. I had hundreds of pounds worth of everyday brands like Clinique and Mac make up. So many cosmetics from shampoo, toothpaste, hair dyes and nail vanish contain harmful chemicals including Parabens, Sodium Laureth Sulphate and many harmful detergents. Sadly my hospital prescribed a lot of these to me during Radiotherapy. Instead of helping to release the radiation they suggested rubbing my breasts in Petrolatum laced cream that would not allow my skin to breathe. Luckily my constant research helped me to be knowledgeable not to use what they were prescribing. I’m now starting to make my own cosmetics as nothing is as pure and healthy than knowing 100% what is going into what you use. We even use NonToxic paint at Hello Love so we are not breathing in so many chemicals on a day to day basic.

My food regime has changed gradually over the last 5 years. 3 years ago I would say I was eating super healthy and I am sure in another 3 I will think what I am eating right now isn’t that great. It’s about constant learning and growing and not stressing over anything! If one day you are dying for a cake then have it.

I only buy organic food. I make my own organic muesli on a morning and add some berries. I cut out diary due to the estrogen levels in animal products and I make my own nut milks. Bought nut milks often contain cancer causing emulsifiers and everything you make yourself is better than buying as you know 100% what is going into it. I eat a plant based diet. My plate is always full of colour. There is so much choice, variety and my taste buds are so intense after getting rid of processed foods, preservatives, sugar and meat from my diet. I also love juicing. We have an organic juice bar, tea house and vegan cafe at Hello Love and follow Gerson therapy of cold pressed juices which are full of nutrients and healing qualities.

Finally I focus on my soul. These days I work more than ever but I make sure im never stressed about it. If the train is jammed full I will wait and get on the next one or wait for the next 6 to come before I stress to squeeze on. In other words I go around as stress free as possible.

Being in the moment is key. Not worrying about the past or the future but only concentrating on the exact moment you are in. At Hello Love we offer a range of holistic practices that I practice myself. Meditation, Qi Gong, Sound massage, Gong Baths, Reflexology, Aromatherapy, yoga etc. The more I practice the more I lead a healthy lifestyle to help not only prevent a re-occurrence but help prevent so many illnesses.

I can now say I love every minute of life, the good and the bad and I love all I am learning from my cancer experience.

To contact Jane at Hello Beautiful go to: http://www.hellolovestudio.com/The-Hello-Beautiful-Foundation

The SafeSpace gang will be visiting the Hello Love Studio in Holborn later this year so stay tuned and if you are interested in joining the fun click here: http://samspaces.co.uk/a-safe-space/

On Your Side

“I’m sorry to say Mr Blair, but you have a brain tumour. It’s the size of a large egg, and we are going to aim to operate, perhaps some radiotherapy, chemotherapy, but if theres nothing else we can do, we will just keep you comfortable.”

As my husband was given those words I felt myself sinking into the floor. The world seemed to go slowly as I looked up at his Mum, perhaps expecting to catch her, but she just looked white. I looked to Ross, he seemed shocked, but calm.

That’s Ross though and there really wasn’t anything more to say.

That was the beginning.

He had been having headaches for a few weeks, had been going through depression and mood swings, but we had a new baby and we put it down to that.

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Ross’ Mum, Dionne and I drove home without him and the car was eerily silent. No words could express what we were feeling.

Pure shock and fear. Deep, deep fear.

Getting back to my house we were met with Matty, Ross’s younger brother (who had been babysitting my two girls, while we had gone into hospital) he asked if everything was OK and his Mum told him the news. We just hugged and cried. Terrified.

Matty and Dionne left to go and see his sister and for a short time I was alone.

I phoned my parents and sister and delivering the news to others made me sob. What was happening? He had gone in with headaches!

The truth is, I new it was going to be bad, I never for one second thought it would be this, but I knew something was going on, something bigger.

I phoned my agent and left her a voice message. As a TV actress I had just finished filming BBC Casualty and had booked a film. I wanted to let her know that couldn’t happen, I just wanted to tie up loose ends, be present in what was happening.

I looked around at my house and I wondered what it all meant.

What would happen with us? The girls? How would I cope with this?

Nothing seemed to make sense and there was no answers.

I am an extremely positive person and I just knew I had to focus on one foot in front of the other, one step at a time. Clear everything, seek help from those around us and be there for Ross emotionally.

We have an extremely good bunch of people around us and over the coming weeks (with Ross’ instruction) a schedule was put together and everyone took turns having the girls. We wanted to make sure they didn’t get embroiled in any of it.

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Brooke was about 3 years and Texas 1, so they couldn’t really understand, but I knew they would sense something if they were around us.

Everyone chipped in, they took so much pressure off us and those that did that will always have a place in my heart. The girls nursery, lead by the owner Steph, took the girls for months, free of charge. That is the good in the world, that is humanity.

Someone from America contacted me in the early days and we spoke online. This lady had grade 3 brain cancer and she was very pragmatic about it all. She gave me the advice “This can still be your life, it will be brain cancer life now, but it doesn’t have to define you”

This stuck with me and as an advanced practitioner of The Law of Attraction and someone who knows that what you focus your mind on, you bring into your reality, I practiced what I preached.

When people tried to tell me how horrendous chemo was going to be for Ross, I said “He will be fine, we will focus on that when it’s here”

People mean well, but they often impart their own fears onto you and that just wasn’t how this was going to run. Some may see that as naive, but you’re wrong. Ross hasn’t read a single thing online, or otherwise into brain cancer, chemo, radiotherapy, brain surgery and because of this he doesn’t know what he is supposed to feel, he just feels it if it’s there.

He has been remarkable. Two brains surgeries, chemo, radio, seizures, doctors poking and prodding, having his driving licence taken off him. He has defied what people said.

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He has left intense chemotherapy to go and play football, or ride his bike. He would go into chemo and say, “shall I breeze this one?” and I would, of course, tell him “yeah, do it! Why not?”

You will never hear Ross say “This is a nightmare” or “why me?”

Quite the opposite, you will hear him say “Why not me? None of us are immune, it’s just science” or “I’m bored if it now, it’s gone anyway” “They keep telling me I’ve got cancer, but I can’t feel it!”

He is never a victim, WE are not victims.

As the partner of someone going through stuff it can sometimes feel like you are watching a movie you cannot do anything about. You feel frustrated for them, want to take away any pain, but yet you are left to watch. I had to learn to let go of trying to control Ross. I wanted to tell him what to eat, what he could and couldn’t do.

I was scared, there is so much information out there (often conflicting) and I just wanted him to be OK. You have to let your loved one make decisions or you will find your relationship will shift.

It does shift naturally anyway, as the partner, or carer you take on roles you didn’t have before. Believe me, I was not chief driver in our house and I don’t relish in it now. At the beginning everything was down to me and although we have tremendous support, it felt alien.

Nearly 3 years into his diagnosis and he is currently having chemo again, you wouldn’t know there was anything going on in his body. It’s hard to imagine what we have been told is reality, so we live like it’s not.

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It’s not our reality right now and we live with hope. We are very realistic people, we know its not an easy one, but we try to live in an authentic way and mix practical (doing a will and power of attorney etc) with living our normal life and hoping for the best.

It’s the letting go and the fear that stops most, but the reality is that MANY people LIVE with cancer. It isn’t free of cancer, or death. It’s upkeep, its appointments, but in-between you live.

The advice I could give to others going through this is to block out negativity, focus on your loved ones and being as normal as possible, don’t try and force new ideas onto them and find time for you.

You are useless if you go down. You have to have time out and it’s a good idea to let people know you don’t want to talk about cancer all of the time (or people REALLY will)

Remember cancer isn’t personal, it doesn’t ‘only happen to the good ones’, you don’t have to be defined by this, in fact there can be positives to come out of it.

For example;
Strengthening your bond with your loved one
Seeing the wonderful side of humanity in the nurses, doctors and others around you that offer help.
The strength that you can find within you will stay with you forever. You learn compassion and empathy for others and a deeper understanding of whats important.

I had no experience of cancer before Ross and no real understanding of the impact it has, now I know that people’s lives get shook up and rung out and I want to help.

My approach isn’t for everyone though, I’m pretty straight talking, no bullshit and will not have negative chitter chatter. Say to yourself everyday “I will work this out” and get on with you day.

I have been thoroughly changed by Ross’s cancer diagnosis and I am not the person I was 3 years ago. I have seen and learnt things that will stay with me now forever and I am very strong.

As a carer, or someone close to someone with cancer, I am on your side, I am holding your hand, I alright there with you, I know, I KNOW and you are not alone.

Sending strength and love to all.

Holly x

Please come and say hello via Twitter; @hollymatthews, Instagram; @hollymatthews84, My Facebook page; I am Holly Matthews, or my YouTube; HollyMatthewsonline

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